Hate That I Love You

"I burned every bridge I ever built..." -Paramore
Yes, I built a bridge to have something to get over with, but sadly, I burned it thinking I wouldn't be needing it. I thought guys like him wouldn't have the guts to hurt a girl, but I was wrong. But I don't hate him for hurting me. It's not his fault. It's just that I hate how much I love him. It wasn't until it was too late when I realized it. He was always there for me. I was just too ignorant to notice it. He cared -- obviously, but I was too busy caring for others. He was one of the first ones to ask 'what's wrong' when I am quiet. He then try to cheer me up when I don't answer. He carries my stuff and holds the door for me. I simply overlooked them. It wasn't until our paths separated when I realized that he isn't someone who lives under the shadow of someone else. He has his own light. I was just too blind to see that. I took him for granted and now I am getting what I deserve -- doom, months and months of doom. It hurts me so much when the thought that someone else is making him happy occurs to me. But I love him enough to let him go... I don't care if it kills me. My love is unspoken anyway. Sooner or later this unspoken love will start to poison me from the inside. I would die, but I would die happily knowing that he is happy. I really don't know why I am such a masochist when it comes to him. I so hate that I love him!