Balance

Two months. That is all the time I get for being happy. My one shot of happiness just missed. It's either that or I am just not meant to be happy. Who knows, maybe I was born to be lonely forever. Maybe there is some sort of law that states that the happiness on Earth needs to be balanced. My happiness was tipping the scale, so they just had to take it back. Well, good job! The world is balanced again. It's time for me to wallow in sadness again while the rest of the world continues to be happy and productive. I don't really mind loneliness. It is something familiar to me now. It has been my companion for over a year, and yes, my life still went on. This time though, what makes me sadder is the fact that I already knew how it felt to be happy, to smile genuinely all day long. Though, if I were to be glad over my sadness, it would be about one thing. It would be the knowledge that you would not be stuck with me. I'd accept that whole-heartedly. I have always known you are too good for me. You don't deserve me. You deserve someone much better, and with that I am happy.

Crush

Why is it that there is no song/poem particularly about a crush? It's always love or pain. For me, having a crush is the most inspiring among the three. Why? It's such a simple act. It's about smiling, and waking up every morning. It's the reason why the sun is shining brightly, or when it doesn't, it's why the sound of the rain is so peaceful. Your biggest worry would be a hair out of place, or which shirt would best fit you. Your biggest predicament would be not seeing or not talking to him. Friendship does not need to end. Getting physical is never an issue. And inspiration and motivation? They are always there. There would always be the drive to do well, the drive to look good. It's emotionally healthy as well. You will never have to assume and you will never have to expect. Most of all, you will never get hurt. All you can think of is here and now. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess that is the case. But when he is in sight, gosh! The feeling is truly overwhelming. A pounding heart and violent butterflies in the stomach do not even cover it. And paradise? It's the only place that comes to your mind when you're with him. Happiness may not be guaranteed to last, but happiness that comes along with the here and the now, priceless.