Letting go

For the last three years I didn't realize I was clinging on to a strand of thread. I didn't realize there was still a part of me that believed you would come back to save me. I have always thought that I have already accepted our fate, that you were meant to be a once upon a time, but not a happily ever after. I thought that if I brushed it aside, it would just be an unfinished story, a work of art that never gets to see the light. After thinking that I have finally moved on, I just assumed that we lived in two parallel worlds now. After all, this is a big world with 7 billion people each living different lives. Again, I assumed wrongly. I never though I'd see the day that our paths would cross again. To see you in a most unexpected time and place, it's like being doused in ice water and gasoline at the same time. My blood is chilled, but my skin is on fire, and all the words and empty promises came flooding back with a vengeance. My world started spinning in reverse, taking me back to the day that you were just gone, the day that got me started doubting myself. Was I so wrong that I deserved to be left without an explanation or even a good bye? Some nights I allowed myself to fantasize about our reunion, about how sorry you felt, and how you needed me as much as I needed you. Right in that moment when I was feeling the burn is when I realized that I have not completely let go. I thought that when you saw me, it would be as if the last three years had never been, but when our worlds collided in that brief unexpected moment, it was as if we had never been. Yes, I survived in the last three years, but I realized I was living in false hope. Perhaps I was given this moment with you as a closure. Perhaps we had never been an unfinished story. Perhaps our story was not meant to end happily, and it was meant to be a short-lived one. Whatever the reason is, I now know that you have made your choice. Today, I am making mine. You may not be my prince, but it doesn't mean that I am not a princess. It just means that I am not yours. To have my steady world shaken up, I finally realized that three years ago was the end of the line for us. I am making my choice to finally let go.