The year that was

Ah, second year. Middle ground. Grey area. Central tendency. The past school year have been a psychological roller coaster, indeed. Growth has been a huge part of the year that was. Now that another chapter has been written, proofread, and polished, it is ready for publishing.

First term- All I could remember from that term was how excited I was about taking my first three major classes - PSYSTA1, THEOPER and BIOPSYC. I could also remember the grim look on Witch's face each time I come in the classroom. Most of my classmates back then were not the familiar goofy blockmates of mine. I though I was dead. Then I started spending lunch dates with some of Witch's blockmates. I guess there really is no such thing as prejudice in the Philippines, though there were some whom I just quietly shied away from. That term was also my first time to experience engaging in research. It was when I realized that psychology is not just in the heart but also in the mind. Psychology is all about hardwork and patience. Getting participants to help me answer my PSYSTA1 survey was very difficult. I did not think I would ever survive that course, but I did. I did not just survive, I did it with grace. That was also the term when I learned to love what I was studying. I learned it from BIOPSYC. Most psych students seemed to be afraid of that course, but with the help of a wonderful and talented author Pinel, and an amazing professor, it was the best course in my entire stay in the university.... so far! I got to touch a real human brain, and got to meet a real manic depressive, which was also the day I turned 18. The whole of Manila was flooded, but the trip to see Joseph, the bipolar, was still on. Also, it was my first time to experience extending the term since there was the H1N1 a.k.a. Swine Flu attack early on during the term. Classes were suspended for 10 days after a student was reported to have Swine Flu. We had to temporarily say good bye to Friday U-breaks.

Second term- Second term is always the longest term. I had four major courses plus two very stressful minors. PSYCHO1 was a hard catch and was a record-breaker. It was the first time I got a grade lower than 3.0; I only got 2.5. No regrets, though. To think that I did not even pass a single quiz, that was high enough. I also got to improve my research skills, translate: less slacking off. The most memorable animoment (yes, that is what I call my moment from DLSU) was LASARE2. I spent it with my friends and the cutest guy on the face of this planet. I could hardly hold back the butterflies during the group activity. It definitely lit up my whole week. Second term was also when Ondoy and Pepeng heartlessly destroyed eastern Metro Manila. Classes were off for more than a week as Taft avenue, along with 80% of the whole city, was severely flooded. Relief operations were held everywhere. I got rid of most of my clothes during that time and sent them to different places. Insecurity also started to build up during that term as my inferiority complex got to my bad side. Overall, the term was not one that I would want to go back to, but hey, obstacles are just inevitable.

Third term- New year means a brand new start. I spent my Christmas vacation far enough away to help me forget bitter memories of the past term. My grade from COGPSYC from the previous term changed from 3.0 to 4.0 because of error in the professor's memory, har har! Yeah, I learned to talk nerdy. I learned all about ANOVAs and regressions, implicit and explicit memories, and kapwa. SIKOPIL was a tough challenge not because of the subject content but because my enemy was boredom. I could not sit still for a full five minutes in that class, and I especially could not last a minute without glancing at my watch to check the time. I also had great animoments, though. I really enjoyed HUMALIT, which at first, I admit, I thought would be a burden to my major courses. As the term passed by, it became more of a two-way ticket from hell to paradise and back. When I say hell, I definitely mean it. LBYPSMX was the core of my personal hell. There, team LBYPSMX was born! My team and I would drain our brains to think of every loophole that might tarnish the validity and reliability of our experiments. At some point, though, I liked it. It was why I took up psychology. .......................*will continue after the term ends, or until after I get my grades*

Brains over Brawn

How can I go on? I am famished and parched, a nomad in this crazy and unpredictable world. I am but a child, naïve, perhaps even ignorant of the ways of this world. The once industrialized, capitalist world that I grew up in has turned barbaric as it went back to the old days. I stand atop an abandoned building and blink my eyes against the scenery of people dying, fighting over whatever food was left. The scorching heat is confusing. It creates an illusion of paradise – a cool, flowing river beneath my feet. I am immediately enticed by its beauty. It took all but one step for me to fall in. I can feel my hair whip all over my face. How can the river magically disappear? All too sudden, I fell into the pool of hungry desperate people. My paradise just turned into a nightmare.

I woke up in the middle of the night with beads of cold sweat forming on my forehead. I have had this recurring dream for the past few months; from the day the late night news announced the coming end of the world to be exact. Global warming reached its peak and it started a domino effect of catastrophes. Famine, drought, chaos. I decided I cannot live in indifference any longer. If I was going to survive this cruel fate, I am going to have to fight for it. Eighteen years of mediocrity may not be a strong foundation for a hero, but I knew it was worth a try.

The blazing sun rose earlier than usual. Its red orange rays felt more like noon rather than dawn. The lethal ultraviolet rays forced most of the surviving population to stay indoors. Classes and work were cancelled indefinitely. Great, I thought. I would have more time to strategize. Obviously, supplies were scarce. Heat gradually vaporized the Earth as if it were water left to turn to steam.

I looked at the mirror and saw my sun burnt skin and sweat-filled hair. Global warming has already erased the Antarctic. Slowly, animal species are becoming endangered. So is the human race. Should I be the strong-willed Princess Urduja or the witty Ali Baba, the compassionate African girl from Hole in the Wall or the manipulative goddess Hera? Should I even bother saving others or if I saved them, would I be able to prove Nietzche’s claim that “hell is other people”? My questions only yielded more questions. I do not plan to be a meal of the next generation of cannibals. I have to find a way through this. I am fairly sure that a world with highly developed technology would not give up on developing innovations.

That errant thought caused me to reach an epiphany. Pilandok came into the periphery of my thoughts. I suddenly knew that to be able to survive, I have to be like the clever Pilandok. Brains over brawn, as people put it. Come to think of it, Pilandok is no more than a mousedeer, but he always manages to outwit his competitors, some of them even datus. Pilandok’s tricks always put him in the advantage. If I were Pilandok in this dying world, I would surely be able to deceive and defeat my rivals.

Today the sun continues to ravage the planet. Mother Nature has taken a turn against her children. My nightmare is gradually becoming reality, but equipped with Pilandok’s skills, I swear to change the conclusion to that nightmare. I swear to be other people’s hell, not the other way around.