Hopeless case

I offered you my fragile heart -- my mangled heart held together with what little hope I have left. I surrendered my soul to you. I was bared into my very being, raw and pure just for you. I held out my hand and reached for yours. I listened, I watched, I touched, I loved. I gave my all only to be treated like I don't exist. Frankly, I should have known. I should have listened when they said I was going to walk barefoot on broken glass. My bad. For a second there, I saw the broken glass as sparkling diamonds. I walked into my own agony. My feeling of betrayal should be non-existent. It's not like you reeled me in. I took the bait all on my own. I was just foolish to believe that I was finally being saved when in fact I was being captured. My poor heart could only take so much. All I could do was detach mind from my aching body. I watched myself from afar. I was curled into a ball of pathetic. Then the strangest thing happened. I laughed. I laughed at my silly notion that someone finally came to rescue me from this cold and lonely world. I should just face the fact that there is nothing more for me but the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I was born alone, I live alone, and I will die alone. No one will ever find me, and no one will ever save me because there was just nothing to save me from. I let my mind drift on and off, let a few silent tears slide down my cheeks, let my heart mourn for what I thought I lost but was actually never mine. I had to learn the hard way, I get it now. I am different. I will always be different. I will always be the girl behind the barred cage, envious of love and warmth and belongingness that others take for granted. Me, I belong in this cage where others can look but cannot touch. I don't even know why I keep trying to break free. This is it for me. There is no other way, there is no hope. Now that I have learned my place, I will quietly hold back the pieces of what used to be my heart and keep them with me as a reminder of who I am.