Wrapped around my fingers

I am not exactly what one would call the woman of his dreams. As a matter of fact, I don't even see myself as a woman at all. I still feel like a girl stuck in the awkward stage between childhood and adulthood. Perhaps I got lost somewhere in moratorium and fate decided that I should stay confused forever. I sometimes make the most foolish and risky decisions. My childish and playful ways are my most effective social skills. I refuse to wear make up and girly clothes. I wear glasses and stay up all night to read fantasy novels. I spend my free time writing blog entries.Worst of all, I am turning twenty one. I still refuse to let society change who I think I am, but sometimes things just get frustrating. Sometimes fighting this battle all by myself gets tiring. Sometimes I just want to give up and let society suck in all of me and turn me into another one of their beauty-crazed zombies. Sometimes I just want to give in to the demands of this world just so I could be accepted. Just when I was about to give up, I had you. I had someone to encourage I am simply a child, honest and innocent. I am a child on the first day of school, not wanting to let go of my mother's hand for fear of this strange new place. I feel futile as I enter the unknown. I have stayed put long enough to know and love what is only familiar. I found my happy place and I refused to leave it, until I was finally forced to open my eyes to the unknown world. I was forced out of my comfort zone and forced to face the world of lies, graft and abuse. Everyone was my enemy. I chose to trust nobody. Perhaps it was a moment of weakness that I allowed you to enter my life. I was young, innocent and alone, and you were older, maybe wiser and braver, and definitely stronger. Something about the smooth and natural way of our conversation made me want to know more about you. You headed out, I followed you. You suddenly stopped and turned, and for a moment there I thought you would push me away. After all, what help could I be to someone who is already as great as you? To my surprise, you didn't. You took my hand and led me to venture out into the open, to see the world with your eyes. I was taken aback by the sights and sounds. I didn't know I was missing out a lot, but thanks to you I am experiencing life for the very first time. You accepted me for who I am. The fear I felt for the need for change felt silly now. You made me realize that I needn't change for the world. The world needed to adapt to me. Taking baby steps, I realize little by little that I have the world wrapped around my childish little fingers after all.