Trance

In my dream last night, you were there. I was in bed, it was dawn. It was the perfect blend of cold monsoon wind and light drizzle. I checked the time from my phone. It read 5:44 a.m. I saw a text message notification. I read the message. It was from you. My conscious mind was starting to build up anger like it always does whenever you bother me with your messages full of crap. However, my unconscious mind (forgive the Freudian in me, teehee) was telling me to reply. After all, it was only a dream, what could possibly go wrong? Since I was aware it was a dream, I pushed my limits. I did not just forgive you, but I also asked you to hang out. I just thought I wanted to catch up a bit, see how an old friend is doing in a life outside of me -- or at least know what my mind tells me about you. I think you pushed your limits, too. You crossed the fine line between tolerance and 'get the hell out.' I must admit, I was naive when I was fifteen, but newsflash, dear, I will no longer fall for your old tricks. Then it happened. I acted purely on the command of my unconscious mind. I was fifteen all over again. There is just something about you that I cannot afford to lose. Something always tells me that you were a significant part of my life. You hold too many memories -- precious and bitter ones. Either way they both contributed a lot into who I am today. As hazy as the streak of light that is peeking through the wall of clouds, my mind went into a foggy trance-like state. The lies sounded like sweet music whispering in my ear, making my heart beat faster, making my head swim. I fell. I let the darkness eat me in, free falling until I could see light again. I opened my eyes to find myself scrambled on my bed, my hair a wild array of craziness. I never knew I could dream so vividly. I thought I was stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. I rubbed my eyes and let them adjust to the light. I controlled my breathing, and confirmed that I was truly awake. I checked my phone for the time, but first I saw a text message saying, "see you ;)" I checked the name of the sender and my heart sank.